Personal Life

When you break up with your best friend

I thought about you today for the first time since I broke up with you…

Normally, thinking about you is something I try to avoid. However if you do cross my mind, I quickly brush whatever memory that pops up aside and focus on something else. AND fortunately for me, I’m pretty good at it too.

Today, however, was different because I saw you for the first time since we last spoke-  but I guess that’s just the result when you break up with you best friend.

I thought about you today.

Normally, it’s something I try to avoid, but if I do think about you, I quickly brush whatever memory that pops up aside and focus on something else. Fortunately, I’m pretty good at it, too.

Today, however, was different because I saw you for the first time since we last spoke.

Thankfully, you were too busy loading your car down with groceries to even notice me when I swiftly walked (ran) past you. It was a new car, maybe the one you had been saving for, but you didn’t have that vehicle when I was your best friend. I guess that’s just one of the many things that have changed.

In that moment, I realized I haven’t thought about you in over a year. The one person I never went a day without talking to was now a stranger to me. The one person who carried all my secrets was no longer the person I used to know.

I can’t help but to think we were like a couple. Inseparable. People knew “us” when we made a public appearance and it was rare to see one without the other. So when we had our falling out, I imagine it was similar to going through a hard break up.

At first, I would check your Instagram often. I was careful never to like any picture, though, I’d hate for you to know I still thought about you. Yet, I wanted to see that you were miserable without me, that you needed me, and you wanted me back as your best friend.

But you didn’t. Turns out, you were doing just fine without me

I won’t lie, in the beginning, I hated hearing how well you were doing. I hated knowing you had a new best friend, and more importantly, I wanted you to beg me to come back to you, after all I was your very best friend.

But you never did..

It took a long time, but I finally got rid of all our pictures I had hung up and I no longer have that vase we bought together in Mexico. I eventually stopped checking your social media and slyly bringing your name up to friends. I also, managed to even make a new best friend or two in the mean time.

I’m no longer mad nor do I hate you. Losing you wasn’t easy and I fought hard, but in the end we just grew apart. It took some time, but ex-best friend…

I got over you.

I am a wife and a mother just trying not to forget the clothes in the washer, again. When I’m not coordinating colors for clients, I’m out in my garden tending to my succulents or paint abstract art for my Etsy shop • • Want to chat? Shoot me an email at elmdrivedesigns@gmail.com I look forward to hearing from you!

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